My sweet baby girl,
For the longest time, I kept putting off writing this letter to you. Not because I didn’t want to, but because every time I tried to write, my emotions would well up and I couldn’t get a word out on paper. So here it goes. My thoughts may be disjointed, but know that my thoughts come from the heart!
When your daddy and I first met, I knew that after dating him for a month that he would be the man that I marry! He had all the qualities I was looking for in someone; he was confident but modest about his talents and abilities; intelligent but not arrogant; patient but never lazy. He is a natural born leader, and I knew quickly that he would lead a family in a way that was God honoring. Your daddy is the most honest man I have ever met, he is quick to love and forgive, and above all, he is sacrificial in all that he does. He is going to tell you the best stories, and he will fill your life with laughter. It is difficult, if not impossible to find any short-comings that your daddy has. I already know that you will come to love and respect him as much as I do! In fact, if all goes my way, you will even be named after him.
When your daddy proposed to me, I couldn’t believe that he wanted me of all girls! Our wedding day was what I thought would be the happiest day of my life, but I speak too quickly. Your dad and I always wanted children, but we didn’t know when we would add on to our family.
When I first found out that I was pregnant, I panicked. Not because I wasn’t excited about having you, but as you will come to find out quickly, I am a planner. The morning I found out that I was pregnant, I didn’t tell your dad. I actually skipped the first few hours of school that day and went straight to the doctor to get blood work to confirm that you were legit. I had to make sure that I was indeed pregnant, because I was worried about telling your dad. You see, he had just graduated from law school, he was looking for a job, preparing for the bar, and we had school loans that needed to be paid. The last thing I wanted to do was add to his level of stress. I hardly expected his response when I broke the news to him.
When I got home from school that evening, I sat your dad down, gathered at his knees and started to cry. When I told him that I was pregnant, he laughed and asked if that that was all (he thought I was going to tell him that someone had passed away). When I asked him if he was worried, he said no and asked how he could be anything else but excited! Excitement from that point on would be the best way to describe our feelings about your upcoming arrival!
You made it pretty easy on me for the duration of your stay in my womb, however, I believe you have outstayed your welcome this last month! Even so, I have loved feeling you move and grow within me. What a special and cherished gift! It’s amazing that I can already tell when you are startled or upset. While your kicks, hiccups and pressure on my bladder may be uncomfortable, your constant movement calms my heart when I worry about how you are growing and maturing. It’s true that a mother’s worry is from the beginning; I already stress about your safety and your well being. It’s exciting to think that you already know mine and your daddy’s voice. Good thing you don’t know what he says to you, or I would have real concerns about you growing up to believe in Bigfoot. We can’t wait to physically hold you and talk and sing to you in person!
Your arrival is only a couple of days away. When I think about holding you in my arms, I think about all the dreams, desires and hopes that I have for your future. My greatest desire is to see you come to have a personal relationship with your Heavenly Father. The relationship you can have with Him is rich and rewarding! While it may seem like the ways of the world are appealing, they will never give you true satisfaction in this life. The Lord loves you with an even greater love than I could ever give to you! Because of his great love for you, I hope that your heart’s desire will be to always love and serve Him first and foremost in your life.
I hope to share with you all of the hard lessons that I have had to learn in my past so you won’t have to learn them yourself with your own mistakes. As your mom, I so badly want to spare you from any hurt or harm that might come your way. While I want to protect you in this way, I also know that you will inevitably make your own mistakes and experience great hardships and pain in this life. You will grow and learn to be a better person from those mistakes; those lessons will help to shape and define your character. The Lord will use those times to draw you closer to him, to make you stronger, and to empathize with those around you.
I hope that your dad and I will model for you what it looks like to be a person of integrity; it’s easy to follow the crowd, but I hope that you will always choose to stand up for the weak and for what is right. I hope that you find your own confidence and independence in this life, and that you never waiver from who you truly are. You will be encouraged to always pursue your dreams and to try new things outside of your comfort zone. You are uniquely and intimately made, hand crafted by God, and I pray that you will use the gifts and talents that the Lord has blessed you with to draw others closer to Him and to make a difference in the lives around you.
You and I will have our ups and downs, and I know that I will fail you as your mom many times. In those times of failure, I hope that you will be able to look past my weaknesses, show me grace, and know how much you are truly loved. I will need your patience and forgiveness. I hope that you will always know that I cherish you and love you! I can’t wait to rejoice in your victories, cry over your hurts, hold you when you are in pain, and laugh in your times of laughter! I am blessed today and every day to be called your mom, and I can’t wait to begin creating sweet memories with you my little one.